he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
