i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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