Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
