I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize