i permit you to call me
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
