1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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