Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
