shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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