Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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