sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
