and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
