I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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