Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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