maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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