she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
