Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
