There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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