If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
All the doctor said was why
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
