You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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