I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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