Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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