Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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