the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
