who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
