i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it glows. i had to have it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
