i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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