Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
