3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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