oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
