goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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