She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
