wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
