susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
