I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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