Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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