i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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