Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do vagina's smell?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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