Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
