hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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