the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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