I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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