...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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