I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize