she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
