Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
