On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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