if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
