one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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