Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
