Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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