One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize