i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
