dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You made out with two different species that night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize