do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
