I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
