what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
