And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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