You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just gift wrapped bread.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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