yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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