Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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