Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
