Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize