I can tuck mytits in my pants
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
