11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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