Do you still have your period?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
