she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
