I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
