how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Mom said you looked used
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
