If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
