Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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