But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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