ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
