I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
