We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
