Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
