I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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