So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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